In that book, a straight Japanese man has to figure out what it meant that his late brother was gay when that brother’s Canadian husband unexpectantly shows up in Japan, wanting to get to know his extended family. Our Colors is almost the inverse of Tagame’s earlier book My Brother’s Husband. Will they reject him? Or will their reaction be worse than that? Why should he let them in when all he expects is pain and rejection? But Sora thinks he knows who he is and he’s scared of others finding out because he doesn’t know how people will react. Even Nao, his closest friend growing up, sees the distance that has grown between them as Sora makes her call him the more formal “Itoda”. Sora holds everyone at a distance, using that manufactured gulf as a buffer for his feelings. The pressure of maintaining his secret weighs him down at the beginning of the book. Tagame, himself a gay manga creator, approaches Sora with a protective touch, showing the young man at a crucial time in his life learning how to be comfortable in his skin or even just aware that he can be. He smiles and that’s all that they or anyone get of him. He doesn’t go along with his friends’ jokes or his parents' expectations but doesn’t share himself with them. He doesn’t do anything to make anyone think he’s anything other than their idea of normal. Everyone around Sora is heterosexual, assuming he has to be too. It’s a lot for a teenage boy to have to deal with when there’s no one to support him or help guide him. He doesn’t play along to get along with anyone- he doesn’t laugh at the jokes or join in on the banter- but he can’t be honest with them about who he is. Sora puts up masks when he needs to, to protect himself and his secret. Even his parents expect him to be the good son who will meet a nice girl and give them grandchildren someday. And they expect Sora to join them in their mocking of it. “Disgusting.” “Sick,” they judge the idea of homosexuality as much as, if not more than, they do the girl’s collection. His friends at school, including Sora’s crush Yoshioka, think he’s just another one of the guys, laughing that one of the other boy’s sisters has a collection of gay romance and erotic manga. The kids at school and even his parents think his childhood friend Nao is his girlfriend even she starts to wonder if there’s something between them that’s more than just a close friendship. There’s nothing “normal” about Our Colors, Gengoroh Tagame’s coming-of-age story about Sora Itoda, a closeted gay Japanese teenager who struggles to reconcile who he is with who everyone else thinks he is.
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December 2022
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